Worst to First: Every ‘Friday a 13th’ Movie Ranked

October 27, 2015 - garden totes

You have to admire Jason Voorhees’ persistence.

Here’s a male who’s been drowned, stabbed, impaled, chopped scarcely in half, burned, frozen, boiled in acid, and blown to bits. There was even that time he was sent to hell. But he never let that stop him. We could all learn a thing or dual about diligence and following by on a dreams from Jason Voorhees. Think of how many people would have let that initial or second genocide conclude who they were. Not Jason. He is truly an impulse to us all.

Okay, yes, he’s murdered a few people. (Fine, a few dozen.) But put yourself in his shoes. The male customarily wants some assent and quiet. Obnoxious teenagers intrude on his property, causing a ruckus, regulating unlawful narcotics, carrying underage sex. They substantially don’t chuck divided any of their trash, attracting bears and other dangerous wildlife. Plus, teenagers inadvertently caused his genocide when he was still a immature child (he got better, or something), and afterwards years after one cut his mother’s conduct off. (She was customarily perplexing to get punish for a genocide of her son who wasn’t indeed dead!) That’d pull anyone past their violation point.

And so Jason returns, again and again, in one Friday a 13th movie after another. What started as a flattering shameless Halloween ripoff has turn one of a longest using fear franchises in film history. A lot of his cinema are crummy, but some of them are indeed flattering decent; a integrate are among a best examples of their subgenre ever made. Just in time for Halloween (and a news that Paramount has bumped behind a next Friday a 13th installment to 2017), let’s arrange all 12 of Jason Voorhees’ misunderstood cries for help, from misfortune to first. Starting with:

12. Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday

Year: 1993
Director: 
Adam Marcus
Writers:
Jay Huguely, Adam Marcus Dean Lorey
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Kane Hodder
Jason Voorhees Is A:
Parasitic worm that possesses people and turns them into savage maniacs.
Best Bit: The film indeed gets off to a fun start, with an opening method that teases a unequivocally typical Friday a 13th scenario — a lonely, exposed lady in a cabin by Camp Crystal Lake — and afterwards upends a audience’s expectations. Jason’s “victim” is indeed attract used to lure a torpedo into a trap. Then a U.S. Military blows Jason to bits while a puzzling male watches a whole theatre from the shadows. This is all before a opening credits!

Why It’s #12: Because a rest of a film after that torpedo opening is comprehensive garbage. Destroying Jason is an attention-grabbing introduction, yet it leads a rest of a film down a derivative trail ripped off from The Hidden, where instead of a customary Jason Voorhees shenanigans, we have a garland of opposite people behaving out customary Jason Voorhees shenanigans. Jason’s heart is mostly upheld mouth-to-mouth around icky bloody kissing, that could be an STD embellishment (and a snarl of Jason’s customary mania with excitable teenagers) yet a film doesn’t do anything with that idea. It does, during least, underline impression actor Richard Gant hamming it adult like a goofy as he cooking Jason’s heart.

The Friday a 13th mythology isn’t accurately wholesome on a good day, yet The Final Friday adds a ton of new backstory and manners involving visionary daggers and formerly unmentioned Jason relatives. (Oh so that’s why no one could kill Jason before! You indispensable a visionary dagger that a screenwriters hadn’t suspicion adult yet!) Also, not to be a stickler, yet shouldn’t a film called Jason Goes to Hell involve Jason, y’know, indeed going to hell? Mostly he customarily goes to a residence and a caf� and a jail and a coroner’s office. The customarily approach a pretension creates clarity is as a four-word examination of a film.


11. Friday a 13th: Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan

Year: 1989
Director: 
Rob Hedden
Writer:
Rob Hedden
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Kane Hodder
Jason Voorhees Is An:
Angry, water-logged tourist.
Best Bit: Wandering a meant streets of Manhattan, Jason incidentally knocks over a boombox belonging to a squad of hoodlums. They’re understandably pissed off, but they have second thoughts about kicking his donkey after he gives them a demeanour underneath his hockey mask.

Why It’s #11: Like Jason Goes to Hell, Jason Takes Manhattan’s title is indeterminate during best. Jason doesn’t strike a Big Apple until more than an hour in, afterwards when he gets there, he’s mostly in Vancouver doubling for New York City. Budgetary restrictions exceedingly singular executive Rob Hedden, who primarily envisioned a much some-more ambitious, and New York-centric story that would have seen Jason box in Madison Square Garden and stand a Statue of Liberty. But with his resources hacked to a bone by Paramount (who deserted a authorization after this entry), Hadden had to settle for a film that was mostly Jason Voorhees murdering teenagers on a boat; a more accurate pretension would be Friday a 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes a Cruise Ship to Manhattan. (Also, how do we take a journey boat from a lake to New York City?)

Most of a film is pitched during that turn of intelligence; some of a things that’s indeed in New York is fun (as is a undo between a late ’80s suspicion of Times Square as an contemptible hellhole and the existence of a place in 2015), yet all adult to that indicate is a slog, with even dumber teenage characters than normal. That’s utterly unsatisfactory entrance on a heels of The New Blood and a psychokinetic final girl. At a finish of a movie, Jason is degraded by a inundate of poisonous rubbish that turns him behind into a small boy, given that’s accurately how poisonous rubbish works.


10. Freddy vs. Jason

Year: 2003
Director: 
Ronny Yu
Writers: 
Damian Shannon Mark Swift
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Ken Kirzinger
Jason Voorhees Is A: 
Pawn of a child molester and torpedo who haunts teenagers’ dreams.
Best Bit: One of Elm Street’s new residents falls defunct subsequent to his dad, afterwards gets pounded by Freddy Kruger. He wakes to find his father in a weird stupor, staring true ahead, mouth open. He grabs his arm and shakes him, and a guy’s conduct pops purify off. It’s hilarious, gross, and unsettling all during once, and a suspicion of waking from a dream into an even some-more nightmarish existence is kind of haunting.

Why It’s #10: Because while it’s substantially a “better” film than a integrate of titles ahead of it on this list, it’s not a better Friday a 13th movie. Freddy Vs. Jason is many some-more a Nightmare on Elm Street movie with an endless cameo from Jason Voorhees, who’s revived by Freddy Kruger in a misled try to revitalise his power. The story, about relatives drugging their kids and perplexing to make them forget Freddy, is a movement on a grounds of a first Nightmare, and Freddy himself drives any bit of a action; he narrates a opening and motivates the final lady Lori (Monica Keena, one of a best actresses in a franchise’s history). Jason’s fundamentally an intensely absolute pawn.

He does get a integrate of resourceful murders, and during slightest one unequivocally overwhelming scene — where a intensity victim sets Jason on glow and he customarily plows ahead, unfazed, as he slashes kids to ribbons while totally engulfed in flames. But Jason does kind of breeze adult looking like a second-class citizen in his own film — a film that also includes Kelly Rowland job Jason a f-word and an irregular stoner impression who’s apparently modeled after (but not played by) Jason Mewes. Jason Voorhees should never, underneath any circumstances, snootch any bootchies.


9. Friday a 13th Part 3

Year: 1982
Director: 
Steve Miner
Writers:
Martin Kitrosser and Carol Watson
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Richard Brooker
Jason Voorhees Is A: Surprisingly volatile yet somewhat confused revenge-obsessed method killer.
Best Bit: Jason kills one of a latest stand of Crystal Lake teenagers by stealing underneath a hammock and impaling her with a knife. (Before we ask: No, it’s not transparent where a 250-pound male in bloody coveralls hides underneath a see-thru net.) It’s a blatant rehash of Kevin Bacon’s famous genocide in a unequivocally first Friday a 13th, yet one a film acknowledges as a amatory loyalty by carrying a bad plant review an emanate of Fangoria, and privately an essay on Tom Savini, “the new master of enchanting makeup” and a unequivocally same male who designed Bacon’s death-by-arrow-through-the-neck in a bizarre Friday. It’s a good tip of a shawl (and a not-so-nice kill).

Why It’s #9: Part III is important as a film where Jason initial gets his heading hockey mask; differently this is a poignant step down from a prior movies. The large offshoot for this entrance was ostensible to be a 3-D photography, yet many of a dimensional gags fall into dual categories:

  1. Unscary things shoved into a camera lens
  2. Scary things shoved into a camera lens (with unequivocally manifest wires)

Add in honestly nauseous cinematography (like literally ugly; a integrate times there’s crap on a lens no one worried to purify off) and a heinous disco thesis song more transgressive than anything Jason indeed does onscreen, and we breeze adult with a initial truly awful Friday a 13th film.

This Jason doesn’t make a ton of clarity either. He got punish for his mother’s murder in Part 2. So why’s he still murdering people? In a final film he had a furious conduct of long, frizzy hair. In Part III, that is set one day later, he’s totally bald. He took time out from his crazy kill debauch to cut his hair? What a uncanny guy.

His powers are augmenting fast too. At a finish of Part 2, Jason was chopped roughly literally right down a middle. Part III is set one day later, and he seems totally fine. Better than fine, actually; unexpected he’s super-strong (he crushes one guy’s skull with his unclothed hands), and boasts the correctness of a Navy SEAL sniper and a secrecy skills of a ninja. Where’d this male learn how to do this stuff? Why’s he so tough to kill? Later cinema would iron out some of these weird wrinkles. At this point, it’s all ¯_(ツ)_/¯.


8. Jason X

Year: 2001
Director: James Isaac
Writer: Todd Farmer
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Kane Hodder
Jason Voorhees Is A: Time-traveling torpedo with abnormal regenerative powers that could change a universe of medicine.
Best Bit: The scientist who wants to use Jason Voorhees as a guinea pig for his experiments is played by nothing other than David Cronenberg. The executive of Scanners ain’t too unapproachable to get vivisected by a male in a hockey mask!

Why It’s #8: Hey, remember when Jason went to hell? Neither did a people who done this movie! Jason X opens with Voorhees back and improved than ever; looking a lot healthier and some-more noticeably tellurian than he had in a final 3 or 4 films. (He even has hair!) There’s a cool kernel of an suspicion in a supervision wanting to feat Jason’s implausible recovering abilities, yet this is a Friday a 13th movie so that’s dispensed with within mins of it being introduced and never mentioned again.

Once Jason heads to a destiny interjection to a cryogenic examination left awry, a whole thing is a flattering apparent ripoff of Alien (away group from spaceship earnings with clearly asleep critter that wakes and runs amok). But a first Friday a 13th is a flattering apparent ripoff of other slasher movies, so it’s not as if a array ever had any artistic virginity to start with. And ordinary as a grounds competence be, Jason X certainly isn’t unimaginative. Once a unstoppable hockey goalie makes his approach to a year 2455, the film showcases a creatively appalling clarity of humor, like when Jason does one bone-head in while he’s still solidified plain (his slight body topples out of a cryogenic coffin and his machete conveniently slices a guy’s arm off). The screenplay by Todd Farmer is substantially a best of any Friday a 13th in a decade, and strikes a nice balance of fear and comedy, including a exemplary giggle line “Guys, it’s okay! He customarily wanted his machete back!” There’s also a lovable sell where dual characters speak about “The Microsoft Conflict,” some terrible fight that leads to destiny humans “beating any other with [their] possess severed limbs.”

It’s customarily too bad so many of a film looks like something out of an FMV diversion for Windows 95. The CGI of the Grendel‍ spaceship drifting and crashing is just abysmal, and a interiors aren’t many better; it looks like Kane Hodder incidentally wandered into a set of a bad Syfy Channel original. And that’s all before Jason turns into “Uber Jason” after a Grendel’s medical brook inexplicably decides to revitalise Voorhees with endless cybernetic upgrades. That appalling sight competence be a many annoying thing in any Friday a 13th movie, and given a places this series went before it was put out of a misery, that’s unequivocally observant something.


7. Friday a 13th

Year: 2009
Director: Marcus Nispel
Writers: Mark Wheaton, Damian Shannon, and Mark Swif
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Derek Mears
Jason Voorhees Is A: Lonely male who unequivocally misses his mom.
Best Bit: The Friday a 13th reboot doesn’t have a many inventive kills in a franchise’s history, yet it’s got a infrequent cruelty that suits a guileful antagonist. Little sum like a approach Jason has to hang his feet on this bad teen’s head for additional precedence as he tries to wrench out his machete make this film some-more noted than it differently would be.

Why It’s #7: The Friday a 13th series has never led a way; it’s always chased whatever trend was rippling through a fear genre. And so when studios started creation large income by remaking aged slashers like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and HalloweenFriday a 13th followed fit once again. For a many part, 2009’s Friday is a plain if unspectacular film that earnings a authorization behind to a basics. There’s no visionary daggers, no family curses, no sorcery powers, no outrageous humor about a foolishness of so many horny, pot-smoking teenagers descending follow to a dude in a hockey mask. Jason’s customarily a nutjob with mommy issues. Even if it never rises above a turn of formulaic horror flick, it’s disfigured and gruesome adequate to place it above all a series’ gimmicky after installments.


6. Friday a 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Year: 1988
Director: 
John Carl Buechler
Writers:
Daryl Haney and Manuel Fidello
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Kane Hodder
Jason Voorhees Is An: Ill-tempered ebbing corpse.
Best Bit: My favorite impulse in a whole film is when a final girl, a telekinetic named Tina (Lar Park Lincoln), uses a decapitated head to headbutt Jason Voorhees. But given we can’t find a video of that on YouTube, greatfully suffer this runner-up, where Jason kills a camper by slamming her sleeping bag into a tree. (That’s gotta hurt.)

Why It’s #6: Because it kind of botches a good idea. The climactic fight between Jason and Tina is flattering fantastic, utterly when she uses her mental powers to mist him with gas and light him on fire, and also a creeptastic impulse where Jason loses his hockey facade and we see his face in all a unspeakable glory. That’s what we wish from a film about Jason fighting a telekinetic; crazy, balls-out action. What you don’t want is a telekinetic spending many of a film sitting around while her mom and her douchey therapist brawl about a best approach to provide her “illness” — that is exactly how The New Blood spends many of a initial hour. It’s maybe a slightest engaging chronicle of this grounds that we could presumably make.

The New Blood is a initial film where stuntman Kane Hodder played Jason, and yet his interpretation is beloved by most Friday a 13th fans, he’s not my favorite. His movements are a bit reduction firm and abnormal and, during slightest in my opinion, a bit reduction scary. Though I’m bucking accord here as well, I’m also not crazy about this pattern for Jason. He’s ostensible to demeanour like a remains that’s been rotting divided during a bottom of a lake for 10 years, yet mostly a “bones” on his palm and his behind customarily demeanour like rubbery Halloween accessories. Plus, he’s damp for a whole movie, that means he creates all kinds of squishing noises when he walks. How does he hide adult on people with squeaky shoes?!?

Speaking of a 10 years Jason spends during a bottom of Camp Crystal Lake, this film creates transparent one of a foreigner elements of the Friday a 13th movies: Almost all of them are set in a nearby future. The New Blood, for example, was expelled in 1988, yet given of a large jumps in time between the fourth and fifth Friday a 13th, and afterwards between a voluntary and a rest of this movie, it’s indeed set in Sep 2001. Pay no courtesy to a feathered hair and pleated pants, this is a new Millennium!


5. Friday a 13th: A New Beginning

Year: 1985
Director:
Danny Steinmann
Writers:
 Martin Kitrosser, David Cohen, and Danny Steinmann
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Tom Morga
Jason Voorhees Is A: Cover temperament for another method killer.
Best Bit: There’s a whole shock method built around a male on a toilet. Ladies and gentlemen, we give you: Art.

Why It’s #5: A New Beginning is a bit of a churned bag. It’s an engaging suspicion to follow a favourite of a prior installment (Tommy Jarvis, played by John Shepherd) rather than a villain, and to expel a copycat imitating Jason Voorhees for his possess personal gain. (It’s also a good hold that this copycat can’t utterly find a accurate Jason Voorhees hockey facade with a red triangle above a eyes, so he settles for a identical looking one with light blue slashes on a cheeks.)

But even with a somewhat opposite baddie and a new environment (a mental hospital), this is still flattering many a by-the-numbers Friday a 13th, with a customary amounts of violence and nakedness and not many else. (Although in conflict with “Jason,” a final lady fights him chainsaw contra machete, that is accurately as overwhelming as it sounds.) The gore isn’t scarcely as pithy or sundry as The Final Chapter, and executive Danny Steinmann indeed cuts around some of a many unusual moments. I’m all for subtlety, yet c’mon; this is a Friday a 13th movie. It should be as pointed as a knife to a face.


4. Friday a 13th 

Year: 1980
Director:
Sean S. Cunningham
Writer:
 Victor Miller
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Ari Lehman
Jason Voorhees Is A: Hallucinatory tract device.
Best Bit: The unreal conclusion, that initial introduced a universe to Jason Voorhees, and set a fashion that many Friday a 13ths would follow, with a fake happy culmination followed by a final (usually imagined, mostly nonsensical) scare.

Why It’s #4: Friday a 13th is a singular fear authorization that didn’t rise with a initial installment. In hindsight, a original Friday is indeed flattering underwhelming. The whole film plays the temperament of a torpedo as a mystery, that is both structurally tying (because it eliminates a probability of follow scenes) and dramatically unsatisfying (because they don’t even deliver a genuine murderer until the unequivocally finish of a movie, meaning a whole thing is an unsolvable puzzle). Maybe because Friday a 13th didn’t start off with many of an temperament of a own, it took it a while to find a footing. Over time, a authorization would turn reduction gladdened to other properties and build a possess manners and tropes. At this point, it’s fundamentally customarily a intermediate rehash of other, improved movies — a tools that aren’t stolen from Halloween, like the mad slasher and a determined use of POV shots, are all stolen from Psycho, like the score of staccato strings.

What this film has going for it are some truly unfortunate images, like the horrible theatre where bad Kevin Bacon gets murdered, that dawdle on in a common comatose of excitable teenagers everywhere, and a trippy, surreal finale, where survivor Alice (Adrienne King) asks a military what happened to a child that pulled her into Crystal Lake, and they have no answer, environment a theatre for all a films that followed.


3. Friday a 13th Part 2

Year: 1981
Director:
Steve Miner
Writer:
 Ron Kurz
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Warrington Gillette
Jason Voorhees Is A: Deranged grocer spooky with avenging his mother’s death.
Best Bit: There are a integrate unequivocally plain contenders for this spot, yet we positively adore a trailer for this movie, so let’s share that.

Why It’s #3: This film is underrated. It’s not utterly a full-on Friday a 13th movie in a exemplary mold, and Jason isn’t “Jason” yet — he wears a bag over his conduct and a not-so-terrifying span of overalls — yet it’s got some-more manly scares than a bizarre film. The first Friday was all misdirection; in Part 2, all a cards are on a table, that means they can unequivocally play with a franchise’s mythology for a initial time, as in this good campfire theatre that preps a assembly for Jason’s large debut:

Once they staid into a predicted routine, every Friday a 13th built to a large showdown between Jason and a final girl. A lot of these fights were underwhelming; Jason would kill a dozen other teenagers yet violation a persperate yet afterwards he’d onslaught like crazy to get a final survivor, like a shaken closer who chokes while trying to get a final out in a bottom of a ninth.

The excuses since these women could outfight a vital essence of genocide were mostly unequivocally flimsy, yet a finish of Part 2 is unequivocally gratifying and logical. Ginny Field (Amy Steel) stumbles into Jason Voorhees’ refuge in a woods, where she finds his tabernacle to his passed mother, finish with her shriveled decapitated head. Backed into a dilemma and faced with no other choice, she puts on Jason’s mom’s cable-knit sweater and afterwards acts like Mrs. Voorhees; it confuses Jason prolonged adequate for her to gain the upper-hand.

Ginny knows to burlesque Jason’s mom given of a story she listened around a campfire, and a whole film has a identical courtesy to detail, with methods of murder being subtly teased early in a design and afterwards paid off later. A lot of Friday a 13ths demeanour and sound like they were created over a march of a prolonged weekend (and a few of them indeed were). Friday a 13th Part 2 looks like it was fabricated delicately — and afterwards dismembered.


2. Friday a 13th: The Final Chapter

Year: 1984
Director: 
Joseph Zito
Writers:
Barney Cohen and Bruce Hidemi Sakow
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: Ted White
Jason Voorhees Is A: 
Vengeful backwoods lunatic who looked dead, yet wasn’t.
Best Bit: Crispin Glover, who plays one of Jason’s victims, attempts a unequivocally weird arrange of mating dance.

Why It’s #2: Crispin Glover’s dancing alone creates The Final Chapter one of a biggest works in a story of cinema. Beyond that, this is the Friday a 13th that put all together. It cemented a regulation that so many Friday a 13ths followed: Jason seems dead, he rises from a grave, slaughters a garland of people in generously artistic ways, and is killed again until the next sequel. And a reason so many Friday a 13ths copied it is given it works. This Jason is a terrifying boogeyman of unstoppable carnal menace.

Recognizing that the Friday a 13th cinema had huge interest for younger teenagers, a filmmakers also combined a intelligent new fold to a brew by giving The Final Chapter a 12-year-old hero: Tommy Jarvis (Corey Feldman). Tommy is clearly modeled after a kids in a franchise’s audience; he’s a horny dork who loves fear cinema and enjoys making his possess elaborate prosthetic masks (a ability that becomes utterly accessible during a finish of a movie, when Jason is once again felled by someone in disguise). While the initial three Fridays had done comparison girls their heroes, The Final Chapter lets this assembly broker take core stage.

The gore effects by Tom Savini are queasily superb (particularly in a culmination where we see what’s underneath Jason’s facade customarily before he falls on his possess machete and afterwards slides down a blade face first), and a film is customarily goosebumps-raising tragedy from start to finish. Friday a 13th: The Final Chapter isn’t high art. It’s sleaze. But it’s intensely well-executed sleaze. It’s substantially about as good as this kind of straight-ahead exploitation film can be.


1. Jason Lives: Friday a 13th Part VI

Year: 1986
Director: 
Tom McLoughlin
Writer: 
Tom McLoughlin
Jason Voorhees Is Played By: 
C.J. Graham (and Dan Bradley, in a handful of shots)
Jason Voorhees Is A:
Walking corpse reanimated by lightning.
Best Bit: The impertinent opening sequence, that is an loyalty to James Bond, and a transparent denote that a array is moving in a new comedic direction.

Why It’s #1: Finally, here is a Jason Voorhees that creates sense. He’s customarily an a-hole zombie. Forget a mommy issues and don’t worry rationalizing his irregular stamina. He can’t be killed given he’s already dead. He kills other people given he’s an a-hole. End of story.

Tommy Jarvis is behind (played by a third actor, Thom Matthews). Still condemned by memories of Jason, he goes to his grave customarily to make certain he’s unequivocally passed this time. He is; his ebbing remains is lonesome in cobwebs and maggots. But afterwards Tommy makes a controversial preference to make certain Jason’s totes passed by stabbing him by a heart with a steel blockade spike in a core of a distracted thunderstorm. Suddenly a shaft of lightning strikes a spike and reanimates Jason. Whoops! Jason contingency kill again! God (and Paramount executives) demanded it!

Jason Lives was approach forward of a time. A full decade before Scream, it concurred and satirized a clichés of a slasher film genre. That James Bond travesty was customarily a beginning. Characters speak directly to a camera; others note how a people in fear cinema always make dumb choices and breeze adult dead. The infancy of Friday a 13th movies are so feeble done they’re mostly unintentionally funny. Tom McLoughlin’s Jason Lives book is honestly clever.

It’s still scary as well. Even yet most Fridays are set during or around an aged summer camp, Jason Lives was a initial to supplement dozens of little campers to a mix, a preference that drastically ratchets adult the suspense once Jason’s uproar begins. And that uproar is totally crazy; Jason yanks out Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter’s heart, he breaks one male totally in half, he throws one male into a tree so tough that it leaves a impress of a smiley face on a bark. And C.J. Graham is a great, intimidating Jason. His crisp, robotic movements give him a truly illusory quality. He’s like a zombie Terminator.

A lot of Friday a 13th purists prefer The Final Chapter, that is some-more exemplary in a style, to Jason Lives, that does all with a bit of a wink. Although we commend a efficacy of Friday 4, I’m utterly tender by a change between comedy and fear in Friday 6. To this day, so few cinema get that right. Jason Lives unequivocally does — and that’s since this supplement lives on in a hearts of a fans to this day.

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